Elisabeth just got back from baton camp in Birmingham. She had a great time!
Elisabeth says, "It was awesome!" She got her batons wrapped in cool pink and purple colors.
Here are some other pics of the silly kids.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
New Eyes - Aspie Style
I always struggle with the best way to advocate. I try to be a realist, understanding why people react the way they do, while not having to accept status quo. Elisabeth can recite my mantra, "There is no such thing as 'normal'." And she would add, "Who wants to be normal anyway?" Bravo, child. I hope you stay that way. But the fact is, even to my own shame, we all jump to conclusions without having the facts, and we all want to fit people nice and neatly into the boxes we have sorted out for them. {I was at McDonalds one day with my kids and niece and nephew, and was quietly frustrated with a boy who kept getting all up in the little ones space, oblivious to the fact he was upsetting them with his enthusiasm. After a few minutes his mom corralled him and sheepishly apologized, saying that they were in the process of testing him for austism spectrum disorders. I was so ashamed of myself. I thought, I OF ALL PEOPLE should have recognized the symptoms. I should have been more tolerant. But the fact is, we all do it, don't we? Even those who should know...} So, I am trying to find ways to introduce Andrew to his new school and community, and, unable to come up with an exhaustive dissertation on things he can and can't do and why, I came up with this. I know every kid is different, but this kid is mine, and hopefully we can all be a little more accepting of neurodiversity because of him...
YOU SEE: A 6yr old that drives you crazy asking 'why' a million times until you finally answer.
I SEE: A boy whose first real back-and-forth conversation was at age 3 1/2, which is usually the age most kids go through this 'why' stage and it is cute.
YOU SEE: A 6yr old with an abnormal emotional dependence on his parents (especially mom).
I SEE: A boy who went through separation anxiety for the first time at the age of 4 1/2. Most kids start this at age 15 months. Many autism spectrum kids never bond enough to go through this at all.
YOU SEE: A spoiled child throwing a tantrum when he can't do what he wants.
I SEE: A 6yr old whose emotional age drops to 2 or 3 when he is stressed.
YOU SEE: A child who lashes out at whoever is close by when he is upset.
I SEE: A child who is trying to express his feelings in the easiest and strongest way possible (which is not verbal!) A child who doesn't understand intent (like 'it was an accident' or 'I was just teasing'), only the actions themselves.
YOU SEE: A boy who has trouble relating to his peers, who find his behavior strange and react with fear or teasing.
I SEE: A boy who wants to play with his friends, but is hindered by his low frustration level, his overactive sense of justice/equality, his inability to read verbal/non-verbal cues, and who can't infer social rules by imitation or 'common sense'. He has to work to learn every small and large rule of appropriate interaction, which can all fly out the window on a bad day.
YOU SEE: A child who requires a lot of extra time and effort, who can't sit still or keep quiet, who seems unable to pay attention, and is often disruptive.
I SEE: A child who will always be different. A child who is bright, silly, loves to dance and be active, loves physical/verbal affection and reassurance, needs to feel useful, wants to be a 'normal' boy, and deserves to feel good about who he is. He is a wonderful child, like all children, who happens to have Asperger's Syndrome, a high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder -- and with the time and dedication of caring poeple has a strong chance of living as a happy, independent, and well-functioning adult.
YOU SEE: A 6yr old that drives you crazy asking 'why' a million times until you finally answer.
I SEE: A boy whose first real back-and-forth conversation was at age 3 1/2, which is usually the age most kids go through this 'why' stage and it is cute.
YOU SEE: A 6yr old with an abnormal emotional dependence on his parents (especially mom).
I SEE: A boy who went through separation anxiety for the first time at the age of 4 1/2. Most kids start this at age 15 months. Many autism spectrum kids never bond enough to go through this at all.
YOU SEE: A spoiled child throwing a tantrum when he can't do what he wants.
I SEE: A 6yr old whose emotional age drops to 2 or 3 when he is stressed.
YOU SEE: A child who lashes out at whoever is close by when he is upset.
I SEE: A child who is trying to express his feelings in the easiest and strongest way possible (which is not verbal!) A child who doesn't understand intent (like 'it was an accident' or 'I was just teasing'), only the actions themselves.
YOU SEE: A boy who has trouble relating to his peers, who find his behavior strange and react with fear or teasing.
I SEE: A boy who wants to play with his friends, but is hindered by his low frustration level, his overactive sense of justice/equality, his inability to read verbal/non-verbal cues, and who can't infer social rules by imitation or 'common sense'. He has to work to learn every small and large rule of appropriate interaction, which can all fly out the window on a bad day.
YOU SEE: A child who requires a lot of extra time and effort, who can't sit still or keep quiet, who seems unable to pay attention, and is often disruptive.
I SEE: A child who will always be different. A child who is bright, silly, loves to dance and be active, loves physical/verbal affection and reassurance, needs to feel useful, wants to be a 'normal' boy, and deserves to feel good about who he is. He is a wonderful child, like all children, who happens to have Asperger's Syndrome, a high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder -- and with the time and dedication of caring poeple has a strong chance of living as a happy, independent, and well-functioning adult.
New Land
We're finally settled in here in Glencoe, AL! We unpacked the last box a few days ago (yes, those of you who know me are shocked...but rest assured an alien hasn't taken over my body. My husband is behind the unpacking, dragging me kicking and screaming. If left up to me, he and the kids would have to unbury me from all the books and memorabilia I get caught up in....)
Tim is the new pastor at First United Methodist Church, Glencoe. I have come off of family leave of absence and am again appointed to attend school, which I will get back to in the Fall. The kids are registered for school and are excited about the new year (although not quite ready for summer to end, of course). We have found a wonderfully warm welcome here and are looking forward to being part of the community.
For those of you who have been following the saga of my educational journey --- I took a trip down memory lane by contacting the AP to get a record of my high school AP scores (from almost 20 yrs ago) to JSU and was able to avoid having to take Psych, Comp, History, and Lit 101s. YAY. I also tracked down all my old English professors (from 15 yrs ago) to get syllabi from my BSC classes to petition not having to take another literature class, which they agreed to. DOUBLE YAY. So, in addition to all the random tiny details of the moving process, I've felt like a mental pinball machine, but am hoping things will settle down now.
The kids have made the move very smoothly. That's definitely an answered prayer. There are many kids their age around here, which definitely helps. Elisabeth, as always, has made a lot of friends. She is going into 5th grade this year, which means that here in Glencoe she will start Middle School. We are not ready for this, but she is! At church, the regular middle school contingent is a whole lot of boys...and Elisabeth. She's totally fine with that, but agrees that it is a good opportunity to get some of her new friends and occasional girl attendees to be more regular. Andrew did very well with the move. A wonderful couple at the church (one of a few, actually, who have pastors/families in their own family) gave both the kids a teddy bear on their first Sunday here, and Andrew's has stuck with him like glue. His name is Cubby, and is currently his best friend. He is enjoying having lots of space to play, inside and outside. He keeps saying he is ready to be in first grade (he is very excited), but we wonder if he realizes that first grade means going back to school, because he gets very anxious when people say the 'S' word. We still need lots of prayers that this will be a good move for him and that he can get the help we all need here. We have an IEP on Aug. 9, before school starts, so start praying NOW for Andrew, his teachers, administrators, therapists and us!
I have been enjoying reconnecting with old friends. Moving here is a little like coming home, since Tim lived most of his childhood and college years in this area, and we lived in Jacksonville (a few miles down the road) for a few years and during my first appointment. We love being close to his mom, who is about 20 minutes down the road as well. I am looking forward to being back in school. I've learned a lot about myself over the past year, and know that I am in a better place now than I was on many levels. Hopefully I won't forget those lessons! Here are some new pics...
Andrew and Cubby
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