Random Aspie Wanderings

Fair warning -- some cute anecdotes in here, and I think some good info on Aspergers/Autism irt Andrew, but you will have to WADE through...

Tim and I like to bicker about the merits/drawbacks of watching TV, playing computer/Wii, and reading. We carp about 'killing brain cells' or 'sitting essentially doing nothing'. I hypothesize that reading is actually a very active process -- much more than simply watching TV, even 'educational' programs. I'm pretty certain of this, but should probably do a little more research, I guess, since I get so defensive. Perhaps playing the computer/Wii is more active, as it involves some physical movement/coordination as well. Again, I should probably look at appropriate research. At any rate, I say reading is not a passive process.

As so many of my random mental wanderings do, this topic brings me around to the inner workings of the Aspie mind ('Aspie' being a common and mostly self-chosen derivative for those with Asperger's Syndrome -- on the high functioning end of Autism Spectrum Disorder). For a child/person with Asperger's Syndrome (and I assume all ASDs) very little is a passive mental process. Part of the 'sensory' issue is from the fact that interpreting language/sight/sound is a very active and voluntary mental process (voluntary being key here). So, overload is in a large part due to MENTAL FATIGUE. Every sound/sight/language association takes intentional mental effort. Thus, coping mechanisms such as repetitive movement/speech is perhaps soothing simply because it takes little mental processing, as it is already a formed neural connection. Hyperfocus would then be another coping mechanism to protect against mental fatigue.

Neurotypicals (people who have 'normal' mental processing abilities) have the ability to subconsciously filter through all of the visual/auditory information to decide what is relevant for the moment. Like someone with ADD/ADHD, which is a very common problem on the spectrum, Aspies have difficulties with this.
[This promotes the idea of encouraging neurodiversity, because we all have different tolerance levels for things such as sound/lighting, etc. Some are able and interested in seeking out stimulation, and some prefer to avoid it. Tim would run all the TVs, the radio, and play the computer with no problem, while I (and I think I have a fairly high tolerance and ability to tune out distractions by hyperfocusing) would much prefer a quiet house and my own thoughts. ]
For those on the spectrum, this tolerance has a much wider range, and they generally lack the emotional maturity to be able to respond with patience or integrated emotional/logical thinking when overstimulated. The processing of most neurotypical adults might be something like, "I can be patient until I can get out of this environment. I will focus on the task at hand and tune everything else out." Or, "If I remove myself from this room, I can seek out a place that is more comfortable." This type of thinking is actually a fairly intuitive and complex process. Intuition and perception is very difficult for those on the Spectrum. This process is something that has to be intentionally taught--and anyone who routinely deals with people in crisis can tell you that learned responses tend to fly out the window when people are confronted with crises. Well, to someone on the spectrum, once a sensory threshold is reached, tolerance ceases to gradually decrease and meltdown/breakdown occurs. It truly becomes a crisis situation for that person. During this time, adding MORE stimulation via auditory/visual stimulation (such as yelling, touching, trying to reason, etc) in fact exponentially compounds the problem rather than having any beneficial effect.

Now, most people would be thinking -- why is this really a big deal? Well, it IS a big deal for a couple of reasons. As we experience with Andrew (almost daily), these breakdowns can have a very negative effect on education -- not just his, but his classmates'. Andrew is in kindergarten. Kindergarten classrooms are already an ASD nightmare, with brightly colored things plastered over every available space, a class full of 5/6 year olds who are all trying to learn social rules, and a teacher that must be able to project over all this chaos. When Andrew's threshold is reached (and I can't even begin to describe the problems we are having in determining WHAT is actually contributing to his sensory overload -- like a needle in a city-sized haystack), his version of a breakdown is throwing his hands over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut, and rendering an ear shattering scream-at-the-top-of-his-lungs vocal performance that goes on and on for what seems like an hour (but is usually only a few minutes). Not only does this obviously impede his learning, but the learning of his classmates and anyone else within literal shouting distance. Now, natural reaction to this would be to 1) (and all too often) shout right back to try to establish authority over him; 2) try to physically contain/remove him from the area to try to calm him down. If you managed to wade through my previous wandering, you begin to see the problems with both of these solutions. His breakdown is due to sensory overload. Adding more auditory and physical sensation just exacerbates the problem, and, in the more understandable words of an old adage --- "Once the dam is broke..."
NOW, let's progress a few years to a teen or adult who is in the midst of a breakdown. Say this person is in a public place, and no one knows why he is acting this way. This behavior might be alarming or even threatening, right? Here is where our ASD loved ones join those with other mental disorders like Schizophrenia. Public breakdown leads to POLICE being called, leads to police doing what they do (normal trained response to 'diffuse' the situation) -- which does nothing to actually 'diffuse' the situation, and in fact makes it worse.
Perhaps this is me overanalyzing the situation and borrowing trouble, but the sad fact is, I have read and experienced too many situations that are variations of this theme to discount it happening to my own child.

I'm struggling with how to help other people, especially his educators and others who would interact with him more than casually, understand these problems without having to go through all the biopsychobabble jargon that flows naturally for me. The good news is that Aspies CAN LEARN to self-regulate. The bad news is that it is a very intensive process, requiring commitment and understanding on a level that most people other than family members are unwilling to give. AND, the earlier the better. So, when I am told over and over again -- Andrew is so young...he'll be fine...there is no rush--I just want to box ears and yell OF COURSE HE WILL, and if you won't step up to the plate, then get out of my way so I can find someone who will. I know I'm not alone in any of these feelings. It helps to know that every invested parent with a special needs child feels this way. So we will all charge on -- working for a day when the world around our children will be more tolerant, and willing to go the needed extra mile.

Elisabeth being silly. As usual.

Andrew and Tim do their 'headbutt hug'.

Thank goodness for Uncle Ryan, who is the toy putter-together. haha

Elisabeth fulfilling her role as present sorter.

Andrew literally dragged himself down the hall when he woke up. I felt bad for the little guy until I was told he was heard up REALLY EARLY playing in his room. He apparently then fell back asleep on the floor, which is where he was dragging himself from later in the morning to find Christmas presents. I was proud though. No meltdowns, even when ALL the toys couldn't immediately be assembled.

Tim and I at his moms Christmas Eve day. We look pretty good for an old married couple. haha

Tim and Ryan made it down to an FSU home game again this year. We went down, too, but the kids and I spent a wonderful Labor Day weekend with our Fierbaugh family there in Lake City.

New Year

Well, as I suspected, constant blogging is a bit unrealistic for me. :) But I suspect you would all breathe a sigh of relief anyway. I did one of those 'year in status' apps on Facebook and realized that last year was an incredibly turbulent year for me, in particular. We're coming up on the year anniversary of the shooting at UAH. I still feel shell shocked when I stop to think about it. My heart and prayers go out continually to those families. My own professor, who survived a gunshot to the head, lost an eye and most of the vision in the other, had extensive jaw reconstruction and brain trauma, but was back trying to resurrect his lab when I left in August. He is truly a walking miracle and testament of faith. He was determined to begin teaching again this spring, which he will not do, but if anyone can overcome what was done, it will be him.

I feel blessed to have been able to offer my counseling services immediately following, but I will never be able to forget seeing those things through the eyes of those who experienced them. It does, however, make me even more proud of my wonderful husband, who is still committed to military chaplaincy. I know he will probably be the receiver of equally tragic stories, but I also know his particular wisdom and style will greatly help those young men and women serving our country who so desparately need a word of encouragement, hope, and fortitude.

For those of you who aren't involved in our daily family whirlwind, Tim is being trained as a military chaplain. It has always been a dream for him, and is now coming to fruition. It has been a long and, at times, frustrating process. However, if everything goes as scheduled, he will be shipped off to Ft. Jackson for about four months this summer to complete his training.

I took time off from my nursing school track for a multitude of reasons, but hope to go back in the fall, although exactly where I'll be going back is up for grabs (or for the spiritual needs of the church, more accurately). Andrew started full time school this year and it has been very, very difficult for him and us both. While his little intellect has grown by leaps and bounds (he is such a great reader! Far beyond typical kindergardner status--and he is also adding and subtracting), his emotional and social skills have really been challenged. We finally made the decision to hire an avocate for him to convince the school to give him the services we feel he needs. He is now receiving behavioral and occupational therapy in addition to his speech therapy. He is also supposed to be getting a classroom aide. I openly confess my skepticism that things will improve a great deal. Very few educators in his school know more about autism than simply having heard the word. Working with the school often feels like a full-time job on top of our other full time jobs. We are praying that we will be able to get him into a school next year that is equipped to help him. I find it ironic that if he weren't so high functioning, we would have an easier time. My heart, again, is full of prayers for those children and families without the wonderful resources and support system that we have.

Beyond this struggle, our children continue to be the constant joy in our lives. Elisabeth is doing very well. She has had a great year. It seems like she has grown a foot--she's almost as tall as I am! She has been taking ballet and baton for the second year and acro for the first year, and loving it all. Andrew is also taking acro. He loves it too! Elisabeth is pretty impressive with her baton already! She wants to be a majorette, of course. She has made straight A's so far, and loves her gifted curriculum. So far they have mummified a chicken learning about the Egyptians, and Elisabeth played Remus in their play about Romulus and Remus as they were learning about Ancient Rome. She also played Mary in a Christmas play and sang a solo about Baby Jesus. It is hard to admit that in three months, she'll be ten, and I'll have to claim a pre-teen. Watch out world! Andrew, when not overwhelmed, is the silliest, funloving little boy. He is still very affectionate, loves wrestling and daddy time. And of course, loves his sister to pieces -- until she starts pestering him! I know it sounds strange, but even their typical sibling wars bring me joy.

This was also the first year Andrew really understood what was going on at Christmas. He was able to differentiate the gifts from his 6th bday and the gifts from Christmas, instead of having a month long 'me' party!! His favorite activity was our advent tree, although having to wait a whole day to put on another ornament was very hard. The sweetest moment was when we were riding in the car and he suddenly said, "Momma, Jesus is God's Son and Christmas is his birthday." He also loved playing with the Little People Christmas Nativity set -- all the army men and dinosaurs had to 'watch' baby Jesus too. Of course the army men also had an AWESOME army battle involving our Christmas tree. I'm still not sure how the army tank made it all the way up the Christmas tree, but it seemed like it had a great tactical advantage.

We are celebrating a New Year today in grand tradition. Tim, of course, is cooking -- Meatloaf with his new secret Dr. Pepper glaze recipe, mash pot, greens, peas, cornbread. Wish you were all here to share, but I'll send you good wishes this afternoon during my post-feast nap. I will follow this up with some newer photos of the family over Christmas and during our first snowfall of the 2010-2011 winter season. Blessings!